It still hurts

She's probably speaking vows as I type this. Or perhaps it's all over. Poor girl. I wish there was something I could do. I relieved Hillary of her responsibilities to my movie today. It kinda hurt to do that, I hope she wasn't hurt by it. We'll see how things go with Dannie. I have high expectations of what she can do; we're filming tomorrow, so I'll know soon enough. She's very attractive and rather intimidating, so I'm kinda nervous to film with her...I just hope things go well.

Tip of the iceberg

I heard today that Val is getting married tomorrow. It was originally my plan to see her again before that happened, but I guess there's not much I can do about it now. Normally there's a wedding rehearsal or something the night before, so there's pretty much no way I can get in touch with her now. And really, would I want to ruin the best day of her life? Come to think of it, there's no way getting married to a stupid horny loser could make someone's day good. Especially if you deserve way fricking better. There was one day, long, long ago, that she tried to kiss me...if I could see her tonight, I'd probably make that happen. We owe it to each other. It's bad enough she's fricking pregnant, now she has to marry the freak? Not cool. So not cool. My relationship with her was the best relationship I've ever had. Normally I would never say that I regret something, because regret only seems to apply when you make a choice that you don't agree with but make it anyway. But I don't regret stuff, because I always trust the choices I make. But in this case...I regret that we grew apart. Whatever that entails...I regret it. I loved that girl. A great man once said, "I did love her. I do love her. She's the best thing that ever happened to me."

The past resurfacing

For those of you who come across this part of the Masterpiece, beware: inner thoughts and emotions may surface.

So I was at Anna's last week...
What am I supposed to do with this? I don't have a lot of experience dealing with relationships, but I've come across a new thought. New for me, anyway. She broke up with me. So what is the dump-ee supposed to do with their feelings? A dump-er has obviously made the decision to move on, but all the things she was when we were together...she's still all those things. Am I not supposed to like her? I mean yeah it's been over three years, but when you come across someone who has an attractive personality/etc., you like them. And like I said she's still all the things I loved. So what am I supposed to do with those kind of emotions? Had we just met, I'd ask her out or something. But, ya know, what the heck? Any suggestions?